he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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