Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize