Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize