You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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