Kiss
Puke
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
they need to just BURY HIM!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
