It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
