Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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