Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
