Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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