nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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