Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
