i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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