is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
