This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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