I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
