dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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