My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
