Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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