Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
