smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
