Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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