i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't turn off my feet"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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