just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
