Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
