We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
