i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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