WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
