put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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