you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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