finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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