Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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