I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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