Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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