I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
