how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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