at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well you can't waste a boner
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
