I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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