I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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