Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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