i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize