i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
