What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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