you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize