he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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