It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
