I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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