but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
