don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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