My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
