Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
