So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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