I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
