fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
