wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
