Tell her she can't have a vagina
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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