Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
