its not stalking. its research.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
