U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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